Flush and Lose, Close Banks, Retire and Fire and Laugh at 20 Crypto Jokes


This Crypto Week: Investors dumped a record amount of bitcoin last week and missed a rally, on-chain indicators screamed bitcoin bull market, Ethereum's annualized rate of deflation briefly topped 5%, rising bitcoin added nearly a million non-zero addresses in less than a year. The USDC returned to its €1 peg after US regulators ensured that Silicon Valley Bank depositors could access their money, the Argentine bitcoiner claimed that BTC could one day surpass gold as a trading commodity, and Nomura predicted that the US Federal Reserve was done with interest rate hikes.

In banking news, US regulators shut down Signature Bank two days after Silicon Valley Bank closed in a massive collapse that affected billions in deposits, HSBC acquired Silicon Valley Bank's UK subsidiary for €1 , NatWest imposed a €6,000 monthly crypto exchange payment cap, Anchorage Digital laid off 75 employees, or about 20% of its workforce, and cryptocurrency firms were moving their money from banks to asset managers.

On exchanges, Binance halted UK deposits and withdrawals after Paysafe stopped support for sterling transactions, US government demanded $240 billion Voyager-Binance stop. native crypto assets, Coinbase proceeded with the planned suspension of BUSD trading, and Coinbase confirmed that it has approximately $XNUMX million of trading cash balance with Signature Bank.

In regular legislative and legal news, the UK will strengthen oversight of the crypto industry with separate reporting on tax forms, US SEC Chairman Gary Gensler reiterated that tokens using staking mechanisms could be considered securities, the US Department of Justice investigated two major trading companies over plans for a possible TerraUSD bailout, a Russian lawmaker called for legalizing crypto mining as it would benefit both miners and the government, the US SEC The US indicted an exiled Chinese business tycoon for cryptocurrency-related fraud, the US Department of Justice and Europol dismantled crypto mixer ChipMixer, and Spanish soccer clubs sued crypto backers afterward. that the merger agreements failed.

In various news, DeFiance Capital has raised €100 million for its liquid token fund, and Cathie Wood's Ark Investment has raised over €16 million for two new private crypto funds. South Korea said North Korea's cryptocurrency hacking campaign could be immune from international sanctions, Euler Finance was the victim of a flash loan attack that resulted in the theft of $200 million, and two top Brazilian professional soccer players they claimed they had fallen for a cryptocurrency scam. Meta discontinued NFTs on Facebook and Instagram less than a year after launch, while El Salvador launched university courses on Bitcoin and Lightning Network development.

It's time for some handpicked jokes!